Want a solid strategy with no-BS copywriting for your wildly-charismatic brand? (Pfft, of course you do.)

Get ya mitts on my price list.

*By clicking that button, you’re confirming that a) you’re a bloody legend, and b) you’re cool with seeing my half-assed attempt at email marketing in your inbox. Check your inbox to confirm your subscription and make sure my price list gets to ya’ ASAP.

It all starts with your brand personality & a solid strategy.

Spoiler alert: Your brand’s personality and voice are not some wanky trends that Pam from Marketing came up with.

It’s what sets you apart from all the others (*points over shoulder*) out there.

It’s the sumthin’-sumthin’ that catches the attention of the humans who buy your products, stan hard for your brand, shout your praises to the masses, and keep your clever ass in business.

A sleek design catches the eye, no cap.

But. Buuutttt.

Your brand’s ability to consistently communicate thought-provoking, chuckle-inducing, personality-fuelled messaging is what truly captures your dream customers' attention and undying loyalty.

So, unless you already have a solid brand identity/messaging strategy when you knock on my door, this is always where we’ll start.

Brand FOUNDATIONS :: Personality & MESSAGING GUIDE

With this sucker by your side, you’ll never be left lost for words again.

Tired of those "‘WTF do I say?!' dilemmas? The No-BS Brand Foundations Guide is your brand's beating heart, brain, bones 'n' balls, all rolled into one customised, easy-to-follow, strategy-filled personality and communications handbook.

With 70+ pages of customised strategy, personality profiles, and messaging guidelines tailored specifically to you, your brand, and the humans who stan hard over your stuff, this mega value-packed mofo is your official banter bible.

The ultimate companion to your brand’s visual style guide and a must-have for any brand owner who wants to communicate clearly, consistently, and confidently. (Every. Damn. Time.)

Brand origin story
Purpose, Vision + Mission
Positioning
Unique Value Statement
Tagline
Core Brand Values
Audience Persona

Inclusions:

Brand Personality
Culture Assessment
Brand Voice Guidelines
Brand Language Standards (AKA The Do’s and Don’ts)
Word Bank + Content Ideas
Write It Yourself Guidelines

Add Ons

Website Copywriting

Attract your dream customers from the very first click.

Whether we’re crafting a home page that feels more welcoming than ya mama's kitchen or an online shopping experience that draws in customers and repels abandoned carts (*pew-pew*), you’ll walk away with customer-focused, sleaze-free, personality-fuelled web copy that sells your brand 24/7, 365.

Packaging & Merch

Make your products memorable before they’re even opened.

In today’s unboxing-obsessed market, it’s not enough for your product to look good – it has to sound good too. Catch eyes and ears. Raise a few eyebrows. Along with your team, I’ll whip up personality-packed, gimmick-free, ‘Grammable packaging copy that jumps off the box. (Jar. Label. Wrapper. Whatever.)

EMAIL TEMPLATES

Turning canned emails into artful displays of customer connection.

You hate the bland canned responses that come with most e-comm platforms (#yawn). You wanna show your customers that there’s an actual human behind your business - not some fakey-shmakey robot - giving them the customer experience of their shopping wet dreams. So, let’s show ‘em!

Want the FULL LOWDOWN?

Get ya mitts on my price list.

*By clicking that button, you’re confirming that a) you’re a bloody legend, and b) you’re cool with seeing my half-assed attempt at email marketing in your inbox.

Two words: Personality. Matters.

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Two words: Personality. Matters. *

This is how we’ll do it

*Service Steps*

Step one.

You download my price list. Find yourself mesmerised by how I make this shit sound *so* good.

Step two.

You decide you can’t live without me. Strut over to my snazzy Contact page. Fill in the blanks.

Step three.

I silently judge your submission and use of humour. (Jokes.) Within 48 hours, I’ll ninja-roll through your inbox with a little thank you! freebie and an invite to say g’day, converse about copy, and shit-talk Nutella. (No jokes.)

Step four.

You fall head-over-hoodie in love with me. I tell you the feeling’s mutual. (*Wink*)

Step five.

I send your customised proposal with all your options, my creative service agreement to sign, and an invoice for your commencement deposit.

Step six.

You pick the package that suits you best. Sign on the dotted line. Pay your deposit. Confirm your start date. Start planning our kick-off beers.

Step seven.

You complete the homework checklist in your sweet-AF Client Portal. Depending on the project scope, I write my lil’ ass off for 4-6 weeks. We collab along the way, ensuring that the project stays aligned with your vision.

Step eight.

You smash out your two rounds of edits and give me the final thumbs up. I send your final files and assign all IP rights over to ya. We raise a coldie to celebrate. You graduate to OG Client status. ‘Wonderwall’ plays in the background.