Old endings and new beginnings

Today, I stand on the precipice of change.

The last two weeks, in fact, have been massive. Monumental. Life-changing. I’m talking seriously B.I.G. shiz here.

I finished my degree.

I became a qualified teacher.

I had the most important interview of my life…and nailed it. Hells yeah, I did.

I moved out of my comfort zone and into some rad new digs by the beach with complete strangers.

I finally spoke to my ex-husband after almost 2 years of mutual silence and received the sincere apology that I had waited so long for.

I sold my wedding and engagement rings.

I gave away many of my possessions, freeing myself from the cloying responsibility of owning copious amounts of crap.

And finally, I boldly and bravely declared to the Universe that I was ready for love to come wildly galloping into my life again with great gusto, joyful abandon, and pure intention.

Yep, you could say it was a big few days…

Yet amongst it all, my happiness was tinged with a small amount of sadness and loss.

Almost immediately, I missed my university life so much; missed my days as a carefree student, the freedom, the fun, the powerful purpose I felt every day when I strolled across campus.

I missed the familiarity of living with an old friend, in a quiet home that Muggy loved so dearly.

I missed my old life, shared with someone I loved so deeply: the intimate moments, the support, the hugs, the reassurance…the comforting presence of love itself.

To come to the end of such a massive journey – 4 years in the making – was all just a bit too much for this little blogger, and the tears flowed as effortlessly as the vodka that followed them. To be sitting there, on the brink of such revolutionary change in my life – alone, but fortified by self-belief, accomplishment, and overwhelming pride – was such an incredible moment in time.

Through it all - the breakups and breakdowns; the loss and gain; the travels and adventures (both physically and emotionally); the people who have entered and exited my life along the way – I have done it. And I wouldn’t change one thing about it. Not one.

I have finally found closure, come full circle, and received the validation I have strived so long for.

I have become whole once more.

And now, the future is standing on my doorstep, knocking excitedly, looking at me expectantly, and asking me to kindly please step up and jump with both feet into the new beginning that lies ahead…

I’m kinda pumped about it.

So, I’m saying arrivederci to my life as a penniless, stubbornly single, suburban-dwelling uni student, and waving an enthusiastic hello to my new, bright, bold life as a confident teacher, simple-living beach babe, and successful independent woman.

And maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to add ‘happily-coupled cutie’ to my resume soon *fingers crossed.*

 

Shanny2 Comments