A Wild Adventure

Wow. Holy hell, 2012 - you were one heck of an adventure!

What an action-packed, wildly adventurous, jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring, non-stop rollercoaster, whirlwind of a year this was.

2012 was, without a doubt, the BEST year of my life, thus far. This was my year of adventure, self discovery, solo world travelling, soul-searching, broken heart mending, spirit quenching, magical ah-ha! moments, fuelled by non-stop, massive, dreams-coming-truegoodness.

As I look back on my incredible journey through the last 365 days of blessings, I am transported back to this exact day a year ago – my first New Year’s Eve alone after the collapse of my marriage – and to a single memory...

I was sitting at my computer, reading my friend Rach’s yearly review of 2011, which was jam-packed with all her marvellous accomplishments, each word oozing joy and love and energy…and I was sobbing huge, body-wracking tears.

As I read my friend’s beautiful words, I felt a massive ache in my heart and soul as I realised that my life was devoid of such joy, such spirit, such adventure….such self-love. I distinctly remember feeling a deep, desperate yearning to live a big, bright, bold, beautiful life just like she did.

And in that moment, I made a promise to myself to make it all happen in 2012. I made it my mission to usher as much love, light, joy, adventure, magic, and spirit into my world, so that I would never again feel so empty inside.

And guess what? I did. 

2012 was my adventure. It was the year I truly began to live. It was the year I found myself. It was the year that I began to love myself. It was the year that, quite literally, changed my entire life. I chased my dreams, literally, around the world. I achieved amazing goals. I pushed my boundaries and limits – physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I dared to take risks.

I plunged ahead into the unknown, heart pounding and wide-eyed.

I opened my heart, my mind, my eyes, my soul, and my spirit to the magic in this world and learned infinitely from all my experiences…the good, the bad, and everything in between.

I forged my own path, even when that meant leaving others behind and losing what I used to consider some of my most important relationships. I created new bonds, new friendships, and new connections with amazing souls across the globe.

I lived alone in a foreign country.

I finally freed myself of the crippling depression and anxiety that plagued my life and robbed me of my lustre for almost a decade.

I wept in gratitude, I shook in terror, I laughed in joy, I fell to my knees in forgiveness, I sat in silence.

I surrendered my old views of myself – the person I once was and the past that came with it – and embraced the new, vibrant, confident, self-assured, brave adventurer I became.

I reclaimed my spirit. I became whole again.

In short, 2012 was the year of ME. And what a marvellous adventure it was…

And now as it draws to a close, I am humbled by the extraordinary gifts and blessings that have been bestowed upon me. I am amazed, quite frankly, that the girl in those photos, in those blog posts, in those situations and experiences, is me.

I have done things that I never dared to dream of because I thought they were impossible, or that I was not worthy, or that I was too old/tired/sad/weak to try.  The bubbly, bright, beautiful soul that I now see in the mirror has come so far from where she started a year ago – and what a wonderful sight she is…

I realised something important today: even though my passport and backpack will be put away for the next year while I finish my final year of University, my journey of self-discovery will continue.

In fact, it will never end. I started this year full of doubt, panic, uncertainty, fear, and false pretences. I’m so proud to say I am ending this year brimming with confidence, contentedness, clarity, and courage. And yes, I am aware of the excessive use of alliteration there.

May 2013 bring you all the love, light, joy, magic, and never-ending adventure that you deserve.

Safe and happy travels, always.

ShannyComment